Just waiting for my ride

It was a busy Saturday. From early in the morning we were busy as a bee.
We had breakfast, and then we had to drop mama off at the subway so she could go to work.

So it was Kieran and I at least until auntie came and picked him up.

We did some grocery shopping. We were low on the red juice. It's funny how you plan to go grocery shopping and buy just one item and leave with 9 and you're 1 over the express lane so you have to line up with the others with a full cart with what must be 50 items (like they were shopping at Costco getting ready to hibernate for the winter).

Kieran helped me get stuff we needed. Next time we need a list.

Next stop was home. And I had planned on changing my snow tires on the subaru. It was Dec already and usually this is already done by now. But it's been so warm that I could delay it. And good thing too. I had been so busy with reno work that I didn't have the time. It's like mother nature was knowing I had lots to do and was her way of giving me a hand.

So outside. Hydraulic jacks ready, I got the tires out. And Kieran got ready to help me. He wasn't content on just playing with the other lift and jack up his cars. He pointed to the real car that I was working on.

It was at that point that as a parent of a montessori student it was my responsibility to ensure that he has a safe environment in which to provide Kieran with the experience of doing real world things. An example we got was giving a child a play kitchen. It's pretend. There's no real feedback. Play toast won't burn (well not in the play toaster). But real toast will. You see smoke, you smell burning, you hear the smoke detector, you taste charcoal. You have real feed back. The reasoning is this. Kids between the ages of 0-6 learn through their senses. TV and those learning DVD's provide sight and sound. There's no smell, touch, it's an incomplete experience. They think things live in that box with the power button on the bottom right. Much of what they teach is that I put in this DVD in that box and I see and hear things on that other box in 2D.

Think about how we as adults learn. By experience in the real world. We can read and watch videos all we want, but until we put that first nail in the wall or cut that first piece of wood. We will never know how to build anything. It's the same thing for these little people.

They need to be part of day to day activities, be it shopping, cleaning, laundry, wash the car, renos. Whatever you are doing. These are things they will be doing later in life on their own. Why not let them do it from an early age when they are sponges for learning?

However they need to be involved in a safe way. And we have been doing that from as soon as he could walk (although early on we didn't realize that was the montessori philosophy we just had laundry, yard work and reno work to do as well as sports and travel stuff and it wasn't going to stop just not happen as fast). I recall doing the front lawn and ripping it out to prepare for laying down sod. Kieran was outside in his stroller watching me work. Later we find out this was the right thing to do. He may have been just over a year and barely walking, but he can see me working and share the experience of working the soil to prepare it for laying sod. He was laughing at me while I struggled, but the important thing was that he was involved somehow. He was learning about what people do in this world.

Parents want to protect their kids. Because when they are born. They are defenseless. They cannot survive without us. And so we protect them from harm and train them to be dependent on us. But as soon as they can crawl they are becoming explorers and learning to be independent. It's our responsibility to allow them to explore the world, for their benefit, but the key is safety. Otherwise we hamper their learning and development. They will make mistakes, but that's how we all learn. We do something and we see the effect. Tip a cup full of water over and it spills and we get wet. What do we do? We clean it up together. Give them a sippee cup and they fail to learn this simple skill. Why do we do this? Because it's more convenient for us as parents.

So back to the car. I had changed 3 wheels already. I had the fourth already jacked up. Kieran said he wanted to do the real thing. So I lowered the car and set it up for him and instructed him that I need that wheel off the ground. He knew how to use the hydraulic lift. It was just a matter of ensuring things were safe. He asked questions about jack itself. What was this? What's that do? I explained. I thought he would ask for help. But a few minutes later. He had by himself lifted the car so that I could remove the wheel and put on the snows.

So next step was to remove the lug nuts. And I showed him how to use the tools, he did it himself with some guidance from me. He asked for some help and I helped, but did not DO the task for him. He did it.

And so when they are young adults and you notice they do not know how to cook, do laundry, do their bed. They watch TV while you work and wash the car or clean the house. Or when they say "I can't do that" without even trying. Remember who trained them to be that way.

We changed the tire and I tightened the lugs with my torque wrench. We were done. Safely.
And we did all this while Jehova's were chatting with me about God and the world and readings. They witnessed Kieran working on the car, using the tools. It was a nice day and it was a pleasant conversation where the things I've learned from being a Montessori parent echoed many things in various religions, plus Vern is a 7ft giant. He could probably crush me with his pinky. Plus in times of need, like being surrounded by 10 thugs in a dark alley, I'll be asking God to send him. They even were the ones that said "we should let you go". Usually it's me saying "I need to go".

I'm not endorsing Montessori by any means. But from observation in the past year and a half - a lot of stuff they do just "makes sense". And when I compare how they structure their education and what I do today. It makes sense. They involve the parents greatly in the why they do things the way they do. Because everyone knows the child gets most of his education from home. So guidance of the parents from an early stage is critical.

There's a lot of 'stuff' going on in the public school system. I think it's broken. The parents think the teachers should be doing this. The gov't says the teachers aren't allowed to do that. I don't blame the teachers, they are only doing what is being dictated by the gov't. Teachers are between a rock and a hard place. And IMHO the gov't system is severely broken. The gov't is full of people who probably couldn't work in the private sector. You know in a private sector company when they refer to unprofessional behaviour between senior management as 'politics'. It's referring to how it is in gov't. So...you know what I mean? How can something broken be fixed by something broken. I don't know.

Anyways, afterwards I cleaned the car while Yahvi came outside and they hung out for a while playing and discussing real world stuff from a three and a half foot view.
Uncle Atul said to Kieran once he was fixing my car, he could work on his. Even neighbours watching him wash our car would say that he could come and wash theirs.
It was hard to tell because he was focused on the task, but these things provide a sense of accomplishment and add to his self-confidence.
Something money could never buy.

Which reminds me it's christmas time. The spirit of giving. But retailers look at it as the spirit of buying.
Buying gifts we don't need.
Worse.
Getting gifts we don't want. Sometimes turns this season into the season of re-gifting, or re-turning for credit and then re-alizing that the item was on sale or was a closeout or discontinued because no one with a frontal lobe was buying them.
Christmas season will soon add another couple of R's to the whole eco wave.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Re-turn & as a last resort - Re-gift

Almost looks like a wreath?


How much stuff do you need to be happy?
What people really need is to experience life and family, and sharing in that and making it better.

Even little people want to be involved. Not just when YOU want them involved. They want to be involved ALL the time in everything. Not when it's convenient for YOU.

We headed to the car wash when all was done. Because kids think is it's the most amazing thing. It's almost like being in a submarine with all this activity going on outside. Just remember to roll up the window.

So it was a busy working day, and while waiting for his auntie to pick him up for a sleepover so he could have some of 'his' time. He got himself packed and ready to go and waited by the front door.
He said he was ready and asked when are they coming. I knew he was ready for a nap. It was 4pm and within 20 mins of waiting. He pulled up Tresa's bag to use as a pillow and it was nap time.

Notice his hat is on backward. He put it on. There's nothing wrong with that. He did it - all by himself. His choice.