Wipe on...wipe off

Anyone know that Huggies wet wipes aren't as good as Pampers wet wipes?
Well this is something you learn as you become a father or mother. Me being the father. Well father-to-be. I went to buy the wipes as an inventory strategy for when the baby arrives in April. The Just In Time stuff strategy just doesn't work in this scenario.

Apparently 10 out of 10 mothers agree, that Huggies falls apart when you're wiping your kids crack. Falling apart is not a good thing, when that little wet piece of paper is all that separates you and the fecal matter, ie. crap!
In any event, I've commissioned Tresa to start stocking up on latext gloves or non-latext gloves. Whatever. I've still got my heavy duty orange ones just in case we run out. You know the ones with the ridges in the fingers for grip.
So I return the Huggies wipes a week later. I went during a weekday, cause you don't want to go to Wal-Mart to return something to customer service on a weekend. Otherwise you'll be there till the following monday. The line is full of people with shopping cart full of stuff. And some of the stuff is open. Like a can of beans. Customer Service person asks "why are you returning this? Is it bad? Did you find a finger in it?" Shopper replies "No, cause my husband ate some and he's generating enough gas to power our outdoor bbq."

So I returned the Huggies wipes. The lady didn't even ask me why. Guess she's a mother. She just gave me the money and off I went. I went to the baby section to check if the pampers wipes, by CHANCE, were in. I found them, packed in some corner, not even on display. I picked up one 400pk box and scanned it under one of those scanners in the isles, and yup they were on sale for $13.87. Woo hoo, my lucky day. Don't have to wait for another flyer.

Did you hear that Dave, they're on sale. Go empty out your truck. And there's no limit.
ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS out there! Dave's heading to a Wal-Mart near you.

As I was walking around a mother asked me where I got them. See...no one asked me where I got the Huggies. Pampers wet wipes have got to be better. But I forgot to use my COUPON! Dam it! See I'm still learning how to be a dad. I'll need a thicker wallet for the coupons and that stretched back pocket in my jeans for the wallet.

Plus timing is also important. When that Wal-Mart flyer comes out and it announces sales on baby items. You'd better go get them. Otherwise mothers with two carts (4 kids in one and the other filled with pizza pockets) will beat you to it. That's another thing I noticed when I was at No-Frills. Some mothers would bring these suitcase style backpacks, walk straight to the pre-packaged deli isle and you know those lunch packs with hot dogs and pizza crap. It has a star trek best before date, star date Oct 1, 3051. The stuff that if you feed it to your kids for 5 straight years, the kid will grow either hair where there shouldn't, like a Hobbit, or another head coming out of the side of their head, and then you have another mouth to feed. They'll start packing that stuff into that backpack like they're getting ready to head to a bombshelter and not see the sky for 20 years. You now who these mothers are. You see em. I'm not going to say who. Buy you people know. You watch. Just stand by that isle or that section and see who comes.

Next time I'm bringing my digital camera. For proof. Like those UFO sightings in the tabloids.